Aaa

Join the car club
we hate all vehicles except cars.
Especially vehicles without engines.
Join us as we celebrate
putting staple guns to bicycle tires.
See the bicyclist huff and puff his way up the hill.
We detest him. He is in our way.
He is impeding progress.
He is slow.
Floor it & leave him eating our fumes.
Our precious, fragrent fumes.
Bicyclists are not like us.
They are responsible for potholes
higher gasoline prices
crime in the streets
war in Bosnia
starvation, pestilence, decadence,
foot odor, weak coffee, unfriendly women.
If bicycles had gas tanks
we'd pour bleach in them.
Why don't bicycles have gas tanks?
Stuff a crowbar in their spokes.
Spit on their little chrome bells.
Dump sand on their chains.
We shall overcome.